And in the era of digital dating, first-date fears can compound quickly!
It doesn’t matter if you’re new to the dating scene or if you’ve been on a million first dates. For many of us, first-date jitters are more than just butterflies: they’re pure anxiety.
And in the era of digital dating, first-date fears can compound quickly! Perhaps it’s the true crime podcasts, or maybe it’s the unrealistic expectations created by romcoms. Regardless of the cause, first date anxiety can get in the way of finding love.
Ready to overcome your fears and feel confident while dating? Here are seven ways to make yourself feel safe before every first date!
We live in a time where instant gratification is the norm. In just a few swipes, we can get anything – truly anything – delivered right to our doors! But that doesn’t mean you should treat first dates the same way.
Before taking the leap to meet in person, take as much time as you need to DM, call, or video chat your date. You don’t need to feel like old friends before meeting up, but you should gather enough information to know they’re who they say they are.
This could be a few days for some people, or a couple weeks for others. Just remember that there’s no deadline you must rush to meet!
This step is easy to forget, especially if you’ve been playing the dating game for a while. But it only takes a few seconds to send a text with your meet-up location and a screenshot of your date. For extra peace of mind, share your location with them, too!
Knowing that your friends have your back might be the safety net you need to unwind and enjoy your evening.
Similarly, you might also feel more comfortable in a familiar location. The unknown can be intimidating, and if you’re meeting someone new, that’s enough unknown for one day!
By suggesting a restaurant or bar you frequent regularly, you won’t have to stress about the unexpected. You’ll know the menu, the staff, the location of the restroom – all the little things that make you feel confident on your own turf.
You never know where a conversation will take you on a first date. If you’ve been stuck talking about something that makes you uncomfortable on a first meeting, you likely never want to be in that position again.
Before your date, reflect on a few non-negotiables that might come up that warrant an early exit. Whether it’s a pet peeve or a political topic, knowing your limits may be the confidence booster that gets you out the door.
Perhaps the worries and anxieties of your day are carrying over to your meet-ups. If you can’t unwind enough to enjoy your date, try taking more time to prepare!
And we aren’t just talking about more time for makeup or hair. Read a few chapters of your book, play your favourite video game, sneak in a quick nap, or enjoy a glass of wine solo. Whatever helps you bookend your day, be sure to do it before your date.
Anxiety may be mental, but it can also manifest physically. If nothing else seems to work, get some fresh air on a quick pre-date walk or sweat it out at the gym. This quick step can help you feel grounded and connect with your true self – empowering feelings that make first dates a breeze.
Finally, come up with a plan for the worst-case scenario: leaving mid-date. But this doesn’t have to be too complicated – simply envision what you’ll say and how you’ll get home. You of course wouldn’t owe them an explanation, but having a rehearsed action plan can ease those anxious thoughts.
When prepared for the worst possible outcome, you’re prepared for anything.
Verge is helping people feel safe and secure with online dating. Our video-based dating app is putting an end to catfishing for good. Looking for more dating tips? Be sure to follow us on Instagram for more ideas and inspiration!